Time to say Good Bye! New site: TheSmooDiaries.com

You’re probably thinking, WWWHATTT?!

Good bye?!  But I’ve barely started with the hellos!

But then, this happened:

TheSmooDiaries.com

TheSmooDiaries.com  TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com  TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com TheSmooDiaries.com

Yes, that is shameless promotion for my newly bought domain name that is ALL MINE (and also for my very late pride shout-out to the LGBT Community since I know a lot of gay pride parades happened not too long ago).  Since, I still don’t know how to work publicizing posts, tagging things properly, and actually promoting through the cyber world, this will have to suffice.

To my dear 9 followers:

*Puffs out chest*  I am proud to say, I have 9 followers.  Hugs and kisses to each one of those followers.  ❤ xoxoxo

*Deflates chest* But I have no idea how to transfer your subscription to my new site.  Pout and sad face.  If you could subscribe and follow me over there, that would make me very happy <3.

How I spent my day:

I spent my Canada day in a live chat with Bluehost, because after I bought my domain name, I didn’t even know how to log onto my domain name.  Yeah, I could go to the site as an user, but as a backend administrator…  I had no idea how to log on… I’m just a cyber retard.

At one point, I actually put:

I promise you, I’m actually a lot brighter in person, but just unfortunately, not in this aspect.

That being said, it took me the entire day to transfer the very few posts that I have from wordpress.com to thesmoodiaries.com

In fact, I still don’t know how things work – including all the plugins I’ve been downloading.  So on wordpress.com, I complain that I can’t install plugins, and now, I’m complaining that I don’t know how to work them & that there are too many to choose from.   Hahaha, I’m just a Debbie Downer today eh?

Anyways, I’m actually regretting leaving WordPress because while there were limitations but the functionality and the user friendliness of it all was just fantastic.  Now that the blog is being “self hosted”,  well, let’s just say, I have no idea what’s going on in terms of the behind the scenes stuff.  Yeah, sounding incredibly cogent today.

Please visit me, it’s lonely over there!

Anyhoo, please visit THESMOODIARIES.COM and follow me there.  It would mean the world(s) to me, you know, Earth + all the other planets + Pluto (because it was still a planet when I was in school and Sailor Pluto is hot).

Toots!

 

 

Hong Kong Food Lesson #1: Field Chicken

I read just enough Chinese to comprehend menus and to be able to order at the HK Chinese cafes (Cha Chan Tings).  My main method is that I like to skim for the key words that I know: chicken, beef, fried, stir fry, etc.  Anything in the middle of the key words, I usually take for adjectives to enhance the dish.  There is ONE MAJOR EXCEPTION to this rule.

Chicken!!!

They love to put complicated words in front of chicken to make is sound more sexy and delicious.   These characters usually look very complicated and when written with a dry marker, it can just look like a scribble.

Examples:  滑, 油, 燒  (They look like scribbles even now!)

So here I was, sitting in a HK cafe famous for their clay pot rice, and I deploy my skimming method.  *skim, skim, skim*

I settle for an eel + chicken one.  There were two that looked almost exactly the same except for the middle character.  One easy looking, and one complicated looking character, so I opted for the window look-a-like.

Field Chicken Menu

This is when I’m going to insert my Chinese Lesson:

Field Chicken 2

One would then continue on the logic that a field chicken could perhaps be…

NO YOU ARE WRONG!  Do not use regular logic.

Field Chicken 3

The Chinese probably invented Field Chicken to screw people over that don’t speak Chinese well so they can point and laugh at them.  Or it’s probably a lesson to tell me to learn more Chinese, or else.   Let me tell you, it’s one evil lesson.  A ribbit-ing lesson.   Ahem, I mean a “riveting” lesson.

There’s my clay pot rice! Yup, that’s my field chicken.

Pseudo Chicken Clay Pot Rice

Now, remember the takeaways of the lesson:

Field Chicken

Don’t you ever forget that! I even used the cutest frog photo that I could find – you’re welcome.

Now all shiggles aside:  How did the frog taste?

Actually, to be honest, it wasn’t bad at all.  As with all meat comparisons, it’s usually benchmarked with chicken right?  So here goes…

So in comparison to chicken, the frog has more small bones, but it was a lot more tender than chicken.  And it tasted like chicken, well, I slathered it with a lot of soy sauce… so it tasted like soy sauce chicken.

Here’s the shot of my Field Chicken and Eel Clay Pot Rice with a hell of a lot of dark soy sauce:

Soy Sauced Field Chicken

After all that kerfuffle, yeah, I would have field chicken again, I mean, frog.  I would have frog again.  Actually it’s just better visually in my mind when I say field chicken.  Let me try again.  I would have field chicken again.  Yup, much better visually in my head.

Have you tried frog?  Did you like frog?  Do you have a funny frog story?  Share your experiences in the comments below!

Hong Kong Life – The Moose View

If you’ve read the About section, you would know that I’m a CBC  (Chinese Born Canadian).  Most of the times, I feel that as a CBC, I am given a much harder time than Westerners.  Before anyone goes cray cray on me, let me explain.

Not trying to be discriminatory but for convenience’s sake, I’m the moose in the centre and HK are the pandas.  So, in short, I feel like I’m a complete outsider because yes, while I am Chinese, but I’m Canadian at heart.  I grew up in Canada and I have more Westernized values and way of life.

This is what I feel like:

Canadian Smoo 1

 

But this is how HK people view me as:

Canadian Smoo 2 So while I look a little different, but I’m essentially the same as them (just a lot fatter), so I’m expected to know, behave, act, and think like them, or at the very least, understand why.  BUT I DON’T.

HK embodies the East coast mentality; time is money, so don’t waste their time, don’t do small talk with them and DO NOT block their way in the MTR stations.  It’s not that HK locals aren’t friendly, they just don’t understand why I’m asking something that they think is tres common sense.

In the case that you are a Gweilo (Caucasian), then they understand you don’t know because you look completely different from them and therefore, they are a lot more patient.

Throughout this blog, I will try my very best to document things that I find amusing in HK, that locals will otherwise find completely normal (my threshold for amusing is quite low though, let’s put out that disclaimer first).

If you’ve already had an amusing HK experience, let me know in the comments below!

 

 

Goofy and his Toothless Story

Right picture was a couple of months before  I had left Vancouver to move to HK – please take note of his gorgeous million dollar smile and his entire set of pearly whites.  I cannot stress the word “entire” enough.  Entire meaning, wholesome, complete, unbroken, full, undamaged, no-teeth-missing.

Goofy and his toothless story

Left photo was received via Whatsapp in Dec, late 2013-ish.  I thought Goofballs was super cute and didn’t think anything of it, until a couple of months ago.  I remember thinking, “I thought he had a complete bottom set of teeth…”.  You see, Goofy was born sans his adult upper K9 (the fangs used to rip and shred meat) teeth and we had his baby K9’s removed because the vet said it would lead to infection and complications later on in his life should we have left them in.  It’s kinda funny because when he growls, he’s not vicious at all because he doesn’t have his fangs – tehehehe.

I thought I remembered his full set of pearly whites since I was in charge of his teeth brushing.  So off i went, in search of old photos for comparison.  Upon comparison, I immediately realized that Goofy is missing teeth!!! Based on the photos, i think he’s missing 2.  Well, he’s actually missing 4!

That’s right!  I told my mom to check and he’s lost 2 teeth on the bottom and 2 on the top.  The vet said it could be due to old age, plague buildup and other things that my mom couldn’t understand.  I personally think they fell off because my mom fell off the teeth brushing wagon.  They actually recommended Goofy to go get a professional dental cleanup after that incident and that costed a fortune…

I still can’t believe how my mom didn’t realize that Goofy was missing teeth.  UGH. *face palm*

Dog owners and lovers, please brush your dog’s teeth, or else, you’ll be left with a toothless dog and toothless is only cute as a name for a dragon!

 

 

NSFW: Alter Lateral String Flash Thong (Swimsuit for Men)

Alright guys….  I’ve been rendered speechless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, my speech is coming back.

Have you seen the new craze of men’s swimsuits?  Let me introduce you to the Alter Lateral String Flash.  They were invented by a French company and sold on Inderwear.com.   Those “cheeky” Frenchies.

Get your eyeballs ready.   Ready?

Lateral String Flash

Isn’t it very cheeky?  (Pun totally intended)

The most perplexing part of this is that this genital sock only comes in 3 sizes:  S, M, L, but, (or BUTT), I’m not sure if that’s measuring the size of your family jewels, or the size of your body/thighs…  Careful guys, wearing it could make you become the butt of all jokes.  Snigger.

Out of 5 reviews on the legitimate site,  the Lateral String Flash was given a 4.8/5 rating.  An happy customer writes:

There you go.  To each their own & friendly reminder to trim the garden before venturing out to purchase one of these bad boys.

 

Bad Hair Day Goofy

This is what happens to long-haired dogs.  Their haircuts cost more than mine, and when they go too long in between appointments, they can look truly unkempt and like a character from the Lion King.

Pre Haircut Goofy

PS.  Yes, that’s an Elmo sofa for kids.  Yes, I bought the sofa with the full intention of letting Goofy have it.   Go figure – my dog lives like he’s the king.